Canin checked the triple thrust replicators and ticked his engineering chart. He resisted the desire to spit on his Papermate before writing: old habits die hard and though it was 3,000 years since he had used flaky charcoal on papyrus leaves, the urge had never subsided. He was truly a creature of habit. He addressed the on-board computer: “Ready for unloading, Zone 2: prepare landing pad.”

Below him, in the leafy lanes of Somerset, Will Saunders was startled by a flying saucer that buzzed him without warning. Picking himself up, he peered over the hedge into a nearby field. A silver sphere was hovering over the corn, making ripples and circles that waved around the field in incredible patterns. Will set off towards the farmhouse. Bert Jolly would be very interested to know what was ruining his crops.

Canin studied the view on screen: an empty landscape with one old man staggering into the distance. It reminded him of the first landing in Egypt: what was that old chap’s name again - Moses? He still laughed at the memory of the prophet’s face when he awoke one morning to find the pyramids built overnight. Teams of solar engineers using ultra sound had moved huge blocks of stone, constructing a sophisticated network of information centres to collect and dissemble inter-galactic intelligence. BASENJIT they had called it (“Built Another Stone Edifice Nocturnally Just In Time”). Over the centuries, the T had been dropped, as the word ‘jit” was an age-old insult and good relations had to be preserved among the local population.

After building these pyramids, the. engineers had left the interior decoration to a local artist. This man, being a favourite of the Pharaoh Aar-te-fact, was held in some veneration. His formal training had been sketchy as art was still in its infancy but he had cornered the market specialising in hunting scenes. His basic dog shapes were the talk of the town. At the height of his fame, Ne-ver-hapi, his wife, inadvertently provided him with his trademark, each dog having a squiggly tail because of her continual nagging and arm pulling.

Word spread, and people came from far and wide to admire these vast BASENJITs, the only wonders of the world complete with art-deco interiors. The artist was hailed as a genius, and in between sponsorship deals and demands for public appearances, opened his own academy specialising in nouveau-pyramidism. Overnight, copycat graffiti appeared, reproducing sections of his best known works complete with stylised dogs sporting improbable tails.

From his nerve centre on Sirius B, Canin had realised that the popularity of these line-drawn primitive anthropods should be exploited. He had been looking for a way to police the earth’s population without oppression or resentment and the introduction of a cult figure at the height of its popularity would be the perfect answer. Requisitioning a fleet of passenger craft, Gamin filled them with specimens of the highly trained Sirius B Canid, Genus RW/1 with variable pigmentation.

Naturally transparent, these animals were pre-programmed to gradually take on the colouring of their surroundings, eventually stabilising into a permanent and suitable shade. For maximum efficiency, they wore white cotton socks in order to remain visible. The Egyptians, naming their new dogs after the site of their creation, were impressed with this dedication to germ prevention, as it was a common belief that most diseases were absorbed through the feet.

This vanguard of RW/1 agents had landed in the desert at noon and elected to adopt a rich red colouring to match their environment. Red being a particular favourite with the Egyptians, this increased their popularity and in no time at all, these status symbols could be seen parading through the streets wearing jewelled collars and imperious frowns. Later arrivals were landed at night under a waning moon. Poring over the colour chart and unable to choose between “Desert at Midnight” and “Snow on the Desert at Midnight", they drew straws to decide the outcome, electing to retain their socks permanently for maximum dramatic effect.

Keeping up with the Ptolemys was a must for dedicated social climbers and no “at home” was complete without an ostentatious display of visiting Basenjits in their finery. Their silence was often commented on and though their tongues were still, their ears wagged: each animal being a perfect radio set with long-range ability, the ear carriage indicating whether instructions were being transmitted or received.

Safely hovering a few feet above the 20th century, Canin mused on the success of thousands of years of freely-circulating information. The original RW/1 model had been joined by the TRi/2 and the BW/3. Their role in the structuring of civilisation was unquantifiable. When Roman rule became a nuisance, they arranged for its destruction and invited Alexander the Great to invade Egypt. They had also worked tirelessly to advance their new world in the solar pecking order - their most notable success being the promotion of the earth’s orbit to one planet nearer the sun than at the dawn of creation.

Canin’s latest mission was to deliver a new shipment of the BRi/4, sure to be in demand now that early prototypes had infiltrated the USA. He watched as a dozen infant BRi/4’s, surplus to African requirements, were beamed down with a selection of RW/1, TRi/2 and BW/3 models. They would disperse themselves among that year’s native born litters like canine cuckoos, using their ability to melt into their surroundings without arousing comment. Canin cleared his throat and barked a message to test their radio receivers.

Below him, the current crop of pan-galactic agents stood to attention, tails tight and ears forward, straining to pick up the transmission. One by one, they signalled back by slightly relaxing their tails and lowering their ears to the half mast horizontal position. Message received and understood. The BRi/4’s would temporarily take on one of the accepted colourings until they were authorised to reveal their presence. Across the land, resident agents picking up this transmission also signalled back, causing slight consternation among exhibitors at Crufts, as all the exhibits in open dog dipped their ears and tails simultaneously.

Canin prepared to leave for Sirius B: it had been a long day and he was tired. Before giving the order to vacate Landing Zone 2, he took one last look at the monitor. His cub agents were streaming away in all directions across the countryside, their white socks treading delicate circular patterns in the crops. Canin saluted them and blasted into orbit, the resulting vortex of air flattening huge symmetrical shapes into the surrounding fields. It would be something for the uncomprehending natives to ponder on and marvel at: unexplained wonders of the world were his speciality.